I feel...empty...And I'm broken ( Cowgirl!)

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Silence...Silence is the only thing I have left. It is the only thing I can keep and no one can force away from me. Ever. I would never allow it with any kind of torture. I'd rather die than give up my beloved silence. It allows me to think, to render myself over to the past and think deeply on how screwed up I am. How broken and foolish I am. Yes, Silence is a friend. A dear friend and perhaps the only friend I have left, not that I'd want a friend. They seem to only betray me anyway. My own father betrayed me! But I still love him. I still thank him for all that he taught me even if he take my pride, my dignity, my...virginity. Discussing, that's what I was and forever would stay. But I was fine with that. I accepted me for who I was, living my life of solitude and traveling across place after place in search of what? I was never sure. Maybe I was just waiting for my days to end, to stop and halt themselves and finally, finally I would find the peace I longed for, the peace I hoped would accompany me in my final hours.

That morning was rather warm compared to the Winter days that had been occurring though the Season, but then it was nearing Winter anyway. Alexandrie relished in days like this. She wished she could live in a place where it was like this forever and always. Nothing would disturb her and she could carry on life alone and without a passing glance or glare, rather. She walked forward, finding herself taking her time within the trees. Not in hurry to leave the moment where not a sound was heard. No birds, no creatures stirring, no equines moving. All was sound and asleep. She had the next moments to herself without being disrupted. Her rather small black hooves lightly touched the earthy, damp ground before being pulled up once more. Her front pillar arched at the knee and bending to be a ninety degree angle. She did this at a slower pace, gracefully arching that slender neck of hers to set it. Black nose flaring as it was pressed just barely to kiss her chest. In fact, her Andalusian blood proved strong at times like this. The grace in her body etched into each movement. Her legs forming with just the right precision. A beautiful mare among the dead earth around her.

Alexandrie continued all like this until the forest became much too think and she unfurled her neck and walk like a normal equine would. Only now, with the light of the morning breaking down into the forest, was her color, her horn, actually seen. She was completely coal black. The dark hair penetrating deep in each fine hair, but it was the light grey, almost white, dapples that kept her from being completely coal black. They were barely seen with the fog being so heavy, but made out known the less. Small fibers of hair just tipped with the coloring on either side of her stomach and down her haunches before returning to the absolute coal black once more. A silky tail of opal black hung behind her, nipping at the ground as she felt no need to keep it up. Not when she wasn't trying to be a beauty, not that she had much need to anyway. She wasn't planning on capturing anyone's heart. She had been..hurt too many times from things like that to care any longer and it was the lack of emotion that went across her face from such thoughts. Her face..it was so..shiny, so dainty of a dome. Two place blue orbs were set on either side of her face. But they were not happy, they were not bright, but rather harsh and cold. Icy, like the Arctics in the coldest times of Winter. Thick strands of her forelock were slowly creeping to the left side of her face. Soon some of the strands were caught in her eyelash and she had to blink them away. But still, with her paying very little attention to the trees, she did not run them. It was a rather odd site within itself. Alexandrie paused for a moment and noticed the trees getting thicker...Water must be nearby and she instantly turned to the right. Horses always looked for water and she didn't want to meet anyone today, nor ever would be perfectly fine with her. As she did this, her wavy black mane was seen. It was like a sheet of black coming down on the right side of her neck and the left held a few thick strands. It went well down to her shoulder blade and almost reached to the top of her leg. Long, indeed, was her mane.

Alexandrie stopped and thought for a moment. This day seemed... too perfect. Someone was bound to come along and ruin it for her. She simply wondered when and who. How much trouble would they give her...All these questions came to mind before she shook them away. She didn't care, they didn't matter. She would move on like all the times before. And if they annoyed her enough, she would leave.....Like all the other times.

[cowgirl123]

The pitch black stallion kept his well carved dial low to the ground, an unattractive stature that he normally would not allow himself to do, but there were no horses out here at this time and so he did not care. Why on earth would another horse come out into this thickly forested area when the sun was silently beating down through the leaves, they could be in some open and happy field in the sun out in the world and frolicking like normal and happy horses, but you would never catch Estacar dead doing such a pitiful thing. But back to the forest, the only reason that his Andalusian self was out here was because he needed to think, he needed some time to clear his mind. And so he came to this lonely forest because he knew that no horse would be here to interrupt his dark thoughts.

Estacar stopped his steady movement so that he could think easily. He stood there and thought about all that had gone on in the short span of two days. He had met Aquillion the Pegasus mare that he had 'captured' for himself. She now carried his baby in her stomach... It was going to be a hybrid, but really who cared, it was still his baby. The thought of the moment where she had threatened to kill the baby that she held. He remembered that he had threatened to either rip of her wings or tear every feather off of her little wings, he knew that it was a harsh thing to say, but he thought that the threat was needed. He did not want any horse dieing around him, especially not one that was a part of him, not again that is. This thought brought the memories of his mother slid ding into his mind.

He was only just a weanling, but he already loved his mother so much, she was just such a sweet mare though her breed was supposed to be cruel and evil. But then one day she angered his father in some way that the stallion was never sure of, but she did it when Estacar was around, though this did not stop his father. That purely vile stallion just set off on a crazy rant, and then he went and killed the mare right in front his son, the image of his mother crying for mercy and then the image of the way she died was forever etched into the back of the stallion's mind, he would never get them out they would always be there. But he was sure that the dastardly stallion died like the wetch he was. It took him about a couple of years to do so but Estacar made it so that he died a terrible and slow death.

The sound of a twig snapping brought the stallion out of his darkened thoughts. He could tell that it was made by the hoof of a horse because they had a certain sound to them that he had learned to be able to determine. So, there was another horse crazy enough to be out in these woods. The stallion allowed a slow chuckle to escape his maw as he thought of this. The horse that was out here must be as depressed, as lonely, or as haunted as he was which was saying a lot. They must have some terrible internal turmoil going on inside of their head too. All of these things meant that they might actually be a horse that the stallion would want to have a conversation with. Talking with a happy horse was just so overrated because all they could talk about was being happy, which Escatar definitely was not, and so it was just a bore. But an unhappy horse was very interesting.

The stallion stepped into a quick but elegant trot aimed towards where the footfall was heard. Estacar twisted his long ebony body around the trees that grew in his way so that he could make a somewhat straight shot line to where he believed the horse to be. He had been walking for only a few moments when he saw the silhouette of a coal black mare. She seemed to be of the same breed of him and she also had a horn protruding from her skull, which caused a smile to fall onto his coal black lips, he already liked this mare. But he knew that she was the type of horse to be out in the forest at this time and so she was not going to be very social, just like him, so he was not going to go out and just speak to her. He turned and made his body go in front of her so that she would see him, though he made sure that he was not too close to her, then he curved his elegant neck and slid down on his one knee so that he was bowing to her.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Alexandrie had been looking around, irritated at herself for breaking the silence with the snapping of the stick, but it was fine. She would continue anyway. A deep sigh escaped her maw as she rested for a moment. No, she wasn't tired. But her mind was thinking too much, she was involving herself in the past once more and she knew she couldn't change it. It just seemed she could never escape it either. She once more picked up her pace and found herself alert. She wasn't sure why, but she would trust her gut feeling. It never proved her wrong, or led her the wrong way, so she was surely going to follow it. She turned her head to continue and found that her horn cut straight into the tree bark. Slicing it like butter, but not completely chopping it down. Her horn was oddly shaped. It started at the top of her poll then twisted around her left ear and curved around it. It grew down to the length of her forehead, however it only went about half way before it stuck straight out in front of her about two feet. It was a long horn. Long and sharp and black as coal like the rest of her body. It may have made any other equine loo rather demented, but for her it seemed to do two things. It made her look demented and yet, it set of her blue eyes being so oddly twisted around her dome and curved ears.

She stopped and looked at the slit in the tree that she had made and smirk crawled to her features. It was the sharpness of her horn that reminded her she was strong, that she could fight and be on her own. Alexandrie didn't need a stud in her life nor would she ever allow one to rule her. She wouldn't be living then, she'd be a slave and then what was the worth of living to her, but nothing? Absolutely nothing. Staring for another moment, she looked back down and continued on. She had things to do, to be done and wouldn't waste her time hurting trees that could do nothing back to her. That smirk fell from her face to return to that cold expression she normally wore. She lifted her head a bit higher and instantly, she stopped. There. There was a figure in front of her. Bowing? She almost laugh but refrained from doing so as she didn't even know him nor his name. Just that his rather large form was bowing before her. She instantly noted that he was a Unicorn and sighed. There wouldn't be a fighting, or at least she didn't think there would be. Not when they were of the same breed, the same species. However, she wouldn't keep herself from serving harsh words. He no more deserved her respect than he did her attention, but seeing that he was blocking her from going where she wanted...She couldn't do much of anything.

Her orbs of blue began to bore into his figure, waiting for him to unfurl himself from the bow. She coughed lightly and then waited. She would not bow to him. She refused to bow to any stud, or female. It was a rule, a moral of hers that she planned on never breaking. Someone would force her on her knees before she would ever bend to their will. A mare might have feared him, might have shied away or ran because he did look rather...dark. But no fear registered across her face. In fact, it was much of that same expression. That one that got to equines to very quickly before she only chuckled..Foolish. It seemed most equines were not in days and the very reason Alexandrie was almost thankful for her rough childhood. It taught her that nothing comes free, there's no such thing as love and abuse only makes you stronger. Things should've been vise-versa, but they weren't. They were stone cold and in her mind. They would be there forever and she would follow those rules forever. Alexandrie spoke not a word. Not a single sound coming from her maw. She never spoke first and rarely said anymore than she had too. So she waited for him to speak, to start the conversation she was already anticipating herself for.

I watched him behind my orbs. I wanted so bad to lash out. To strike him right across that face of his, but I didn't. He hadn't done anything to me. Yet. But he had ruined my silence! My day seemed to be completely ruined and I was disappointed. But he wouldn't know that. I would never give him that satisfaction. My eyes went down his bodice, or at least what I could see from this angle. I wanted to know what I was up against if I needed to flight or fight. I could probably out run him. He seemed rather large and I was slender. I could fit in between trees, but I didn't have much of an advantage, not when it was clear that we were from the same breed. I sighed. Perhaps, If he wished me to my death, I wouldn't even run. I would take each hit and slowly let myself fade till I ended. Yes, maybe that was what I would do if it came down to it.

[cowgirl123]

Estacar watched the mare from his furled up position and saw that she was not at all scared of him, some pathetic little mares would run or shy away from him because of his muscular form, but this mare did nothing like that. She just stood there and starred him down with her blue orbs, she starred unafraid, she even seemed a little bit agitated that he was in her way, a light smirk crossed his mind at this thought. She was more like him than he thought, he would have been angry just like her if another horse got in his path when he was planning on having a quite day, in fact the only reason why Estacar decided to come up to the mare was because she was strange enough to be out in these woods. A chuckle escaped his maw at this thought but he stayed in his low bowed position.

Then he heard the mare cough at him and he knew that she was wanting to unfurl himself from the bow. He shook his well sculpted dial and then decided that he might as well get up. Estacar lifted himself back to his normal height, 17 tall hands high, his long mane touching his muscular chest and his coal black tail kissing the ground lightly. He placed his head into his normal tucked in position and starred down the mare with his blood red orbs, his normal smirk placed upon his ebony maw, and his muscular form shinning under the small amount of sun that filtered through the trees. He knew that this look of him could be somewhat scary, even in the eyes of such a proud mare that stood before him, so he let his body give off an air that said he was not here to fight he was only here to talk.

He watched the mare's face and he saw that she was preparing herself for conversation. Estacar saw that she was not going to start the conversation though, she was waiting for him to talk, because she looked like she was definitely not going to start the conversation no matter what. A low and dark chuckle trickled out of the stallions throat as he saw that look on her face. Then he took long and elegant steps to get closer to the mare so that she would be able to hear him when he spoke. Estacar stopped only a few feet away from the coal black mare, it was then that he saw her unique markings, she had grey dapples along her ebony body, most horses this look would not be pretty. But on this mare that stood in front of him these markings made her look quite elegant.

"Hello there Fae." Estacar said in his normal darkened voice that was as smooth as velvet. It drifted along the light breeze like water. The stallion nodded his head to wards her as if to say, there is your conversation starter, and then a laugh bubbled from his maw. Then he lifted his head to it's normal hight and shook his coal black mane. Then he just starred down at the mare with his crimson orbs, he knew that she might not even address him, he had made his statement short just to see what she would do. He starred at her and a thought silently crossed his mind. He was trying to grow his little herd of two into a harem, and since this mare was a of the same breed of unicorn and the same breed of horse she would make a good lead to his little harem, but he would not tell her this idea just yet because he knew that she would just blow it off at first. But she seemed like a proud mare and the part of lead would fit her well, and he was planning on going even farther than just a lead, and he knew she would like this.

But at the moment the mare looked like she wanted nothing more than to reach out and bite him. The stallion thought that this was quite funny, she seemed to like her quite a lot, enough to want to hurt a big stallion like himself. He liked this, she seemed to be very proud and very what was the word.... Oh yes, feisty. He laughed yet again as this word popped into his well designed head. He hoped that the mare did not think that he was laughing at her because he was only laughing at the thoughts in his own mind. But of course she would not be able to know that. Estacar then turned his attention back on her and watched her carefully waiting to see what she would say to his short sentence.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

A sigh escaped her lips as she continued to watch him, tilting her dome up to see his face better as he was slightly larger than her 16 hands, but not much. It was someone she could deal at the moment and she was doing it rather silently. Alexandrie saw quickly that he would start the conversation. She heard it the air and saw it in his features. A smirk came to her maw. So if this stud, suddenly decided that he wanted to set over the line and claim her then later on she could easily persuaded him into doing things just by her silence. It was a beautiful plan in case of emergency and one she would form better over time because it seemed like that was what she had plenty of. Time. Her days were filled with it and she was sure she would have enough of it if he stepped over the line...Boy would he have some nasty scars if he decided to do such a thing. She would leave her mark before she got taken, or even died. It was planned in her mind. The whole battle all ready to go and then as she glared up at him and saw that look. Those eyes and the air. She knew it would not happen. He wouldn't be so stupid as to do so. She breathed deeply and released it, a relaxed emotion settling over her and around her and she was rather thankful for it.

She watched him speak to her, but it seemed like she did not hear anything at all. Well, that was what her face had shown. The same expression, not an inch changed in any part of her dome. Even her eyes had settled on him bored. She almost questioned her being there when he chuckled. He seemed to do that quite a bit. Chuckle. But he wasn't the first. Alexandrie knew someone...She had known someone and instantly, she regretted thinking of that. A small amount of pain went across her face, but she tucked it away rather quickly. But those thoughts, those memories. They were screaming inside of her head. They were pounding against her skull and screaming at her. Screaming just to break down and cry. To fall to the knees of the pain, but she wouldn't. She refused to think of him. To remember that he had ever lived would kill her and so she threw it out. Away. Forgotten.

She shook her long black mane and with that the thoughts left and her face returned without any emotions now. Not even boredom was seen there. Just a dull, icy glare that was directed in front of her toward the stallion who was already giving her trouble and she didn't know him for more than a few minutes. Well, she didn't even know him really. He had been her presents for mere minutes and she found herself tripping over lost memories in her head that she wanted buried. That she never, ever wanted to come back to her. Great...What else would he do before she left? Sighing deeply, her voice suddenly was heard as her maw parted." Hello Stag." Her voice was a bit harsh on the 'stag', but her voice was...like a beautiful dark melody ringing in the air. However, it was so icy that it made cut and lashing out at equines much easier and it added an edge to her voice. Nothing else was said from her. Why should she? She wasn't going to give him anything unless he asked and perhaps in return she would ask a question about him. But that was about it. She made conversation hard with her so that equines left her and never wanted to see her again. It was better that way, never wanting to be seen again.

Great...Those memories! They came flooding back now because of him. Because of his little chuckles. Oh, how he reminded me so much of him, Delruel. My beloved mate...Dead and gone. Gone. The mental pain that was going through my head made me want to turn around and run. Leave him standing to go converse with another mare. It would be fine with me. In fact, it would be rather perfect.He could find someone to waste his time with and I could be alone with silence. Again. Always again. It seems that things repeat over and over in my life. Once, twice even three times. But no, I would not let it this time. I would not fall back into that hole of desperation, would not be deprived of all I that I had left, which wasn't much might I add. But he wouldn't take it away from me...

[cowgirl123]

The dark stallion watched the mare and heard her give a sigh and he knew that she was thinking bout something. Though her face was a cold mask and he could not tell what she was thinking of. Most of the time Estacar could just look at a horse and know exactly what was going through their minds at that moment, but this mare had the perfect mask of cold and uncarringness, he had no idea what was going through her pretty little head. But he supposed that he does not need to know what she was thinking of, and she was not going to tell him what she was thinking unless he pestered about her without ending, it surprised the stallion of how the mare was so much alike to him. Estacar's laughter escaped his throat yet again because he could not stop bringing their similarities between them, and he barely even knew the mare, it was most likely just because he needed a lead.

The mare listened to him speak and then she just starred at him bored. He tilted his head to the side to stare at her, and he gave her the same dull look with his blood red orbs, with a smirk playing on his lips. But then as he watched her face he saw a look of hurt pain cross her mask, and he brought his head up to its normal height but kept it tilted to the side, he had no idea why the mare was hurt. He did not think that it was something that he did, or was it, maybe something he did caused some new memories to resurface themselves into her mind, the way the image of his mother would randomly fling itself into his mind whenever something would remind him even a little bit of her, so he understood what was going on with the mare but still a look of worry crossed his face.

But then the mare's face returned to her normal cold and uncaring mask. Then she began to speak and her sentence was just as short as his, but her voice held a tone of ice and it cut threw the air like knives, he knew that it came from the memories that had just hit her but it was honestly no reason to be angry at him. He did not know why the mare was angry, because he had done whatever angered her on purpose, but for some reason she was mad. Well, he probably should not be to angry about her being angry, because well he got angry a whole lot to. So, he just let his ears fall to a neutral position, and he just looked at the mare with his red orbs, but then he knew that he found this whole situation hilarious for a moment and another chuckle flew past his ebony maw.

"The name is Estacar. May I have the pleasure of knowing your calling?" The stallion said in his deep and smooth as honey voice. He knew that she would tell him her name because he had told her his. He wondered if this was going to be the way that the whole conversation was going to be, he was going to give her information about himself and then she would answer if the same information about herself, if that was so maybe he was wrong about her being the right mare to lead for him. But then maybe he was wrong, because she had an air around her that said that if he asked her a question she would ask him a question, but it would be a whole new one. But of course the stallion had no idea what she would do because of that ever constant mask that she kept on her face.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

She swished her tail around her rump to get rid of the pesky flies equines had to deal with. They annoyed her to no end, but she dealt with them on daily basis, so she did her best to just not care. Only send them flying for a few seconds of relief to have them come back moments later to thirst on her blood. That pure blood she carried so strongly to each of her body parts. As Alexandrie gazed at him, she almost wondered what he thought of her. Probably though, just like everyone else, that she was a cold hearted bitch and she was. She would admit to that, but did anyone ever really try to break down those ways she had built so strong? No. So then no one ever really knew her expect for the surface. She wasn't angry, she just hated her past, her childhood and everything about her self. Someone might call her insecure, but she wasn't. She accepted who she was. It just meant that she wouldn't allow herself happiness. She didn't deserve happiness. Nearly anyone would agree with her there, on that subject of matter. It was because of her, she had done to herself and she would face what she had to face. Alone and cold. It was simply best that way.

Alexandrie continued to look at him. She saw how he was trying perhaps to just be friends. To just be nice to her and it was really a first for her. Well, not a first, but it had been a long time. She didn't have the scars along her chest, writhes and rump for nothing. It seemed males only wanted thing in life and Alexandrie refused to be their little toy. She would never be anyone's 'mate' or slave. She would run for her life it came to that. Gazing upon him, she softened her gaze toward it. She wasn't trying hard to not be a complete bitch toward him and it seemed she was failing as she saw it in his face and the way he spoke to her. Even the way he was chuckling. Perhaps, this conversation was a bit overrated and she was being a tad too cold to someone she didn't knew. So she sighed deeply and promised herself that she would try and get to know him...At least until he pushed her away or she grew bored. She noted that he was closer to her now and she felt herself wanting to step back. She needed her personal space, but following these new rules she had given herself, she stayed put. Only looking at him with a nicer expression than the one before. She tried to give off the impression that she was relaxed and even went as far as cocking her left hoof to cut into the damp earth, slicing with with ease and causing her foot to sink down about an inch and half. But still, she did look relaxed. Nodding, she said." Greetings Estacar. I am Alexandrie." Her voice was cooler, relaxed. Since her name was French, she said it with a French accent, but it was rather light.

I gave him my name...I didn't want to, but I did. And now he could probably find me...Hunt me down if he wanted too because I had said my name. But I was trying this new thing of being nicer. Not nice, but nicer than had been. More polite was a better word. He seemed to share somethings in common to me besides just being the same bred, which was a bit surprising. Not many shared anything with me unless it was my father or Delruel and even they shared very little with me. But I would try this. I would see how far in this conversation I went before completely blowing him off. Or rather just leaving the land all together. It had been peaceful, but I had come to learn that just one equine could mess that up for me and I didn't want to deal with it again. For like what? The fifth time in my life.

[cowgirl123]

Estacar watched the mare swat flies off of her rump. Oh they were such pesky flying creatures. Who ever created them deserved to die a terrible and slow death. The stallion remembered them from when he was young. They would always be attracted to his ebony coat and want to drink his youthful blood. But they never seemed to bother him today. He guessed that they just did not want to risk having his wrath turned upon them for landing on his muscular body. Either that or his blood was just too evil for them, it probably tasted like a sour apple, one that had been sitting out in the sun for a few days. And who wanted to eat those? No one. A laugh bubbled out of the stallions maw as he thought of this, though the later was quite possibly true and he knew that, it was most likely the first that stopped the flies from landing on him and bothering him all day long like they did to most horses.

The stallion watched her stare at him and he saw that her eyes had softened somewhat. A small smile twitched onto his lips at the thought of this. He had made her want to be a little bit not as cold to him, which was his plan, he needed her to be nicer to him. If she did not warm up to him then how could he ever bring up the subject of her being lead with him? But she was not just rightly warmed up to him yet, she still held an air of coldness on her, like she was somewhat forcing the kindness onto him. He understood this somewhat, he did it to a lot of horses if he needed something from them, but he thought she was just forcing it because she was trying out being nice. He knew that if she was trying it out and he was kind in return them maybe she would like the idea of being nice to him, then she might warm up to him a little bit more, and he would be able to ask the question that was burning in his mind every minute that he looked at the mare.

The stallion was studying her face so he saw it when she made a face. It was one that he knew very well, it was a face that said she wanted her space that they were too close to each other, though she did well trying to hide it because of her trying to be nice. He could still see it any way. He wanted her to be comfortable so he nodded his head silently to tell her that he acknowledged her being uncomfortable, then he took a few steps back, and he lowered his head so that his crimson red eyes could look directly into her blue ones. He knew that some horses did not like to be looked at in the eyes, they felt like it was an invasion of the privacy, but Estacar allowed his normally cold as stone eyes to soften. He knew that the mare would know he meant no rudeness by doing this, he could just read her better with his eyes on hers, and it was also a sign of respect from him to look directly into her eyes, many horses did not get this privilege.

Then the mare spoke to him and he heard her name grace his ears. Her name was Alexandrie, it was a very pretty name, and it was also unique and it seemed to fit her well. The unicorn's mouth twisted into his normal smirk, he only used it when he was around a mare, one that he wanted to impress though he seemed to be using it a lot more around this mare.
"It is a pleasure to meet you Alexandrie. May I ask what you are doing out in this lonely forest?" He asked with his voice like velvet. He watched her face intently because he really did want to know the answer to this question, it was one that he had been thinking to himself this whole time, and now he might finally have the ability to have it answered.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Alexandrie looked at him for a moment and pondered over his question. She wasn't sure really what she was doing out here. Perhaps, she was just taking a nice walk, but in her mind she knew that was a lie. In all honesty, she wasn't sure why she was out here. She knew why she was alone, those were reasons she kept to herself. But to be out here..Out of all the places in the world she could and she was right here. In this forest where nearly anything could happen to her and no one would know. No one would help her, but still she was here and now she had to come up with a good reason to be. But suddenly, that fire in her tugged at her mind. Since when did Alexandrie ever make up a 'good' reason to be anywhere and why would she have to make one up for him. These questions plagued her mind before a sigh escaped her lips. She knew she would never lose the coldness about her. And she surely knew that she would never, ever lose it around a mare. She was ten times worse than this around a mare... Females..discussed her.

Lifting her head a bit higher as she readied herself to speak, throwing together a reason that would hopefully answer his question good enough. " Perhaps, I am out for the same reasons you are." She said with with a casual shrug of her shoulder. " Wanting time alone. Peace and quiet away from the rest of the nagging, prying world." She had figured that was his reason. As she sat here breathing in his smell, it was almost clear to her that he had been around another, if not many, females. She understood how quickly they were to annoy others and so she didn't blame him for taking a break. She did it when she had a ...mate. So she knew what it was like to have just some time alone, away from the chaos that seemed to strike daily. If it wasn't one thing, it happened to be another. So she took breaks rather often where she would just wonder off...It was on one of those breaks she came back to find half of her herd dead and the other half missing... He had been among the dead and finding it had struck her so hard she nearly fell where she stood looking at his body. It was ripped to shreds, his bones crushed, and his skull so stomped in she could barely tell it was him, but even though the smell of death was strong on the air, she smelled his smell. She found comfort in it for many nights as she traveled, wondering what it would've been like if she would have just been there for it....Later she found out she was in foal for the second time in her life and when she had that foal, she did something against her mother instincts. Alexandrie killed it... She had never had the intention of keeping it, but killing it hadn't been on her mind either and so thus the reason she knew she didn't deserve happiness. Two foals had died in her care. One in her stomach and one she murdered. Two lives that couldn't even defend themselves and she had done it...She had done what no mother had ever dreamed of doing.

I listened for more words to come from his maw, almost interested in what he would say next, but not allowing myself to be too interested. I knew little of the stud before me and that meant he could have a life. One with a harem and children. One that I would not enter no matter what. I shook my head suddenly. Why was I thinking like this? Why did I suddenly have a right to be happy enough to think like this? He was a stud, a stud looking for a little away time from the family and who was I to deny him that? I was sure he didn't want another mare to add. Another mare he would have to protect, though he wouldn't have to protect me. I could fair on my own. I had for a year now and my three younger years had been filled with things that taught me how to survive on my own. I could do. I could make my own life how I wanted it to be, not how some stallion saw it fit to be. But once again, I was letting myself get carried away...

[cowgirl123]

The bitch black stallion watched the mare as she thought. She seemed to be lost in thought, and his question of what he was doing here in the forest seemed to be what brought the thoughts on, and he understood why she was thinking. If she was at all like him then she was sure to not really understand why she was here, because to him there was really no straight reason that he was here in this lonely forest, he had a home and growing family to attend to so in all honesty he should not be here. But he was here none the less and why? Was it just because he wanted to come here to get away from the burden of having a pregnant Pegasus mare in his land, the fact that he was worrying about what the baby was going to be and how he was going to raise it, or what he was going to do in his life?

Estacar had already challenged any horse in the land of his home to come and get him if they thought that they were going to be a lead to the place than him, no other stallion had come to him at that time and place but Estacar knew not to get his hopes up, because the time period that he must wait to actually make the claim was not up and any stallion could waltz up into the land and try to take his home from him. Though he highly doubted that any stallion would have to nerve to try to fight him, because standing at 17 hands and his muscular build accompanied with his blood red crimson eyes, it made him quite a scary horse and a very strong opponent. So he hoped that maybe he could call it HIS one day.

And he was not only claiming that land because he wanted to call that place his own because he had lived there most of his life, oh no he had power in his head at the time, and really what horse did not have the thought of power running through their minds at all times? Estacar knew that if he claimed a land as his own then he could move up higher into power, he could have an actual home to put all of his mares in or what he preferred to call them, his growing harem. Not only could he have a home for his harem, Estacar could challenge for position of all of the unicorn lands if he had his own land, he could then be emperor of all of the lands that he loved so much and that was his real dream. That was why he was out here, to think over all of these things, trying to get his priorities straight, so that he would understand what he wanted to do. He knew that he would have to deal with Aquillion and her hateful pregnancy, but maybe if he had Alexandrie at his home as second lead, maybe it would be a little bit better.

Then he listened as the mare began to speak to him, apparently she had come up with a good enough reason for being out in the woods, and she was ready for the stallion to hear it. The mare spoke slowly and said that maybe she was here for the same reason that he was. She stated that she was here to have time alone and get away from the prying world. The stallion shook his head at the mare agreeing with the mare.
"Well if that is true you are indeed here for the same reason as me, I find that I need my time alone from most equines, and I like being in the quite darkness of this forest." The stallion said in a smooth as velvet voice.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Now, everyone who has ever truly known me and I mean truly known me would know that I would fight for my own power. That I would make my way with my own bearings and my own fighting power. I wasn't one to hitch a free ride on a stallion and let him take me to the top. I wanted to fight, I wanted to kill, and most of all I wanted it be known that I had fought for my place as the lead, the Queen, the top. I wasn't sure these sudden thoughts were crossing my mind, but they were and they were beginning to sound better and better to my ears. Not many mares would challenge a Fae such as myself. I am muscle and I am fight. My horn cuts like a knife through butter. I had seen what it could do to flesh and to repeat that process seemed enjoyable. I hadn't murdered in so long. Hadn't seen a death I could live off of. It made me sick how I thought sometimes, but really? What was I suppose to do? I was like an addict introduced to a heroin and I wanted that high that killing gave me. It didn't matter if I was preying on the weak. If they were weaker than me, they deserved there death just like I would deserve mine if I was weaker than a female. These thoughts raged through and nearly brought a smirk to my face. All I needed was a male and the one in front of me seemed to be the perfectly fit for the job I had placed in mind.

It was Alexandrie's turn to speak more, to cut to the chase. She had never been one for small talk once she had something on her mind and so she lifted her head and stared at him straight in the eyes." And why might that be?" She asked. Her voice smoothing out to become almost seductive toward him. " Mares on a land that bother you?" She asked, cocking an eye brow as she asked this question. Mares probably meant, or at least that he had a chance of having land and if he had land that meant power. Power was everything to Alexandrie as it was to the rest of the world. If you had power, you had title and land. Land made living easy. Mares may have had to fight harder for attention of the stud, but not her. Not Alexandrie. She needed as little attention as possible. All she needed was assure that she was Queen and she would do her duties from there. She'd set mares straight and maybe, just maybe, give a little love to her stallion when she felt that maybe she was losing him to the others. Her mother had to so to her father and perhaps, Alexandrie would decide to do just the same. Only she wouldn't leave or she didn't plan on it. That was where her mother had made her mistake and she would not make it. She would prove herself to the rest of the world and to her dead father and children and mate that she was a force to be reckoned with. In her mind, this was her saying that if she did this, she wouldn't feel empty anymore. She would have a decent home and a nice living space. She would have what she needed and even free reign over where she wanted to be at all times. Control was something she never put up with and now wasn't the time to start.

" Its nice out here, in the morning like this." She said as she turned away from him and took a step forward. She felt the earth soften beneath her heavy foot fall and smiled. Glad to be reminded she was still in reality. She wasn't stuck in her own mind. She left her neck become arched as he tilted her dome down to look at the earth. Flakes of snow had rested on the cool ground and they looked as if they had no intention of melting. Winter seemed longer this year than normal, however not as cold as the ones Alexandrie was use too. The breeze blew and wrapped around the trees before wrapping around Alexandrie herself. She shuddered with the cold, shaking off any flakes that had come to rest upon her heated body. She felt one droplet melt away and become trapped in the fine hair of her pelt. It sank down deep to her skin and cooled a small spot. It made her smile with delight to feel the coldness. It was as if she were fire and ice. Hot and cold all at the same time. She felt empowered and she wasn't sure why.

[cowgirl123]

The stallion listened to the mare as she spoke to him about how why it was that he wanted to get away and be alone. She asked if there were mares in his land that were annoying him. And the answer was yes, Aquillion was getting on his last nerves and he was about to break, he was trying so hard to get on her good side because she was carrying his baby in her growing stomach and he liked the idea of having a Pegasus mare in his harem. It would be something that not most unicorn stallions would have and it would help him get the power that he really wanted. No help him get the power that he really needed. But he looked upon the mare that was in front of him with his blood red crimson orbs and tried to decide whether or not he should tell her this. She might dislike the fact that he had a baby on the way so he might just leave that part out, well no because he did not really want to lie to her already, but he would surely tell her that he had a captured Pegasus with him. He thought that she might find this alluring in some way and he could use it.

The stallion could sense the change in her voice from normal cold and distance to seductive, he knew that this came from the fact that she thought it was a possibility that he had land with him if he had mares. And a small smirk formed onto his ebony maw as he thought of this, and then he decided that he might as well speak, because he wanted to see what her reaction to his news was going to be.
"Well in truth, yes there is this certain mare getting on my nerves, she is this little bay Pegasus that I have captured and have under my care. She is a very angry pregnant mare and the more that I try to be nice, which I do not like to do in any way, the more she gets cranky and grumpy." The stallion said with a calm and cool voice.

Estacar watched her carefully and saw that she was deep in thought. He watched her silently trying to decide what she was thinking about, whether it was about him in a good or bad way, or if she was thinking about something else entirely. When the stallion looked into her eyes he saw a well known gleam in them, and a small once again fell onto his lips, knowing what she was thinking about. He could see power shinning in her eyes, it was from him having his own land, he knew that she must be thinking about being lead of that land, something that he had been thinking of too. And he wondered if she was thinking of the probability of her one day being empress or queen of the unicorn lands, once again something that he had been thinking of this whole time that he had been speaking to her, he thought she would make a great queen.

Then the mare began to speak. Saying that it was nice out in the morning in the way that it was, nice and cold, he guessed.
"Yes it is quite nice out here." The stallion stated truthfully. Though there was a cold chill blowing through the trees, Estacar was used to the cold and it did not bother him at all, and so it was actually pretty nice out for him. Then the mare took a couple of steps away from him and the stallion watched for a few moments. Then the stallion took two long strided steps forward and ended up right next to the mare, but not to close, because he did not want to anger her in any way. Then he saw the chill start to get to her when she shivered. Estacar wanted to step closer to her but he did not want to anger her and make her wish to leave him, so the stallion stayed put in his place, and hoped that some of the heat from his body would reach her and warm her a little.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Alexandrie pondered over these words for a moment before nodded. " Pregnant mares are a handful." She remembered when she had been pregnant. Both times, actually. It seemed everything was wrong in one way or another and nothing could fix it. She liked to be alone on her days like this and others she was frisky and affectionate. It was days like that her mate had lingered over. Always tending to her needs and giving her space when she didn't need it. Truly, it was like he had been made for her in every way possible. He understood her ways and what she needed making her second pregnancy much easier rather than her first one where she took care of herself and did with what she had. Maybe it was the reason she acted so spoiled the second time. Because she actually believed that she had deserved the attention she was getting, birthing a heir when she had deserved it at all. The baby could've been a powerful pawn had she kept him alive and she ruined it. Ruined him. But she wouldn't let that happen. Not again. She vowed never to kill her own kin again no matter how badly the urge screamed at her to do so.

A Pegasus? Alexandrie wasn't sure weather to be discussed or impressed so she showed neither sign of emotion. In fact, she only nodded her head. " I bet that was an interesting battle." She half said it under her breath and half to him. Catching a mare was hard, catching one with wings was probably a lot more difficult though she'd heard of it once or twice before coming here. It was rare though and she saw how he sought her out to be a power pawn if needed. It seemed every equine came into play when thinking about what to do next. Some had the good choice and some the bad. It made Alexandrie happy with delight to think of such games where everyone else was her pawn and she was merely controlling the board to fit her needs and wants. It was the side of her head that was insane that often caused her to think in such a way. But it was also this side of her brain that kept her alive and from killing herself. From drowning in her own pity and sorrow which would've been a shame. " Pregnant mares tend to get like that, don't they? Moody, annoying, whiny." All these emotions Alexandrie had and knew that the mare could probably do little to stop them. However, those weren't the thoughts reining Alexandrie's mind as she looked around every so slowly, simply doing so for the pleasure of movement.

So he had another mare, perhaps even more. I smiled. It seemed he had done most of the work when it came to getting power which was what I expected from a stallion such as himself. I watched him as he brought himself along side me. I looked a little longer before turning my head to face straight. This felt..almost right. Like maybe ruling next to him was a great idea and it made me think about it even more. Something I would never consider was actually being considered and I wondered why before shrugging the thought away. It didn't matter. Either way I was getting to the top. How I did it didn't matter to me. I didn't have anything to lose and a whole lot to gain. I allowed one more look over at him, where he stood. He seemed almost to want to touch me, maybe to keep me warm or maybe in lust. Either way, I didn't want him touching me. A food between us was enough distance. I didn't want him pushing his luck thinking I was some rag doll mare he could use as his sex toy. No, I would be of no such thing. If I ever had another child, it would be because of a good purpose. One stronger than love and need and lust. It would be because of a heir, provided that I had to produce one. Children...Oh, Maybe I didn't even want to produce one. Heir needed, or not. Those things...Something about them made me want to kill them so badly all the time.

[cowgirl123]

The stallion watched the mare quietly his ears swiveling this way and that waiting for her voice to reach them so that he could know what she thought about his statement about his capture of Aquillion. He knew that her thoughts could easily go the way that he wanted them to or they could do a total u turn and go the wrong way. The mare could possible think that it was a brave and strong thing to do to be able to capture the Pegasus mare for his own keeping, which it what he wanted her to believe, or she could think wrong. Alexandrie could have her thoughts turn to thinking that it was a pitiful thing for him to capture a lesser breed than the unicorns and taking his time and breeding her, which he did not want her to think, because that was not the fact at all. But he knew that it was possible for her to think this, and that was why the stallion was waiting on pins and needles to see what she was going to say, staying very quite and letting her have her time to think over her answer to him.

The mare then spoke about how pregnant mares were hard to handle. She nodded her delicate dial slowly and then she began to be lost in her own thoughts. The stallion guessed that it had been from the fact that they were talking about the pregnancy of mares. He saw in her face that there was a possibility that the mare had been pregnant once before or maybe even more than once. But he thought that from the look in her eyes that the pregnancies had not ended well at all and maybe she did not particularly like children. He cocked his head to the side trying to be able to decipher what her face was showing, because he could not quite tell what was going through his mind, and this was something that aggravated him because he was used to being able to read another horse.

"Yes they most definitely are." The stallion stated shaking his dial lightly in an equine like nod. Then he watched her as she thought over his words of him capturing the Pegasus, Aquillion though he did not state her name, because he did not want Alexandrie to know that he thought so high of the little mare as to state her name in front of another horse. Though he did because she was carrying his son in her now bulging stomach and she had been his first mare to join his 'harem' though it was against her will. Most unicorns would think that it was utterly crazy that a unicorn stallion would think of a Pegasus mare in their care as anything more than just a prize that they kept.

The mare did not show any certain type of expression on her face as she heard the statement of Aquillion, and so the stallion could not decide whether or not she thought well or bad of it, though he thought that maybe she felt both and so she had decided to not show either one of the emotions. Then she spoke, it was a short answer to his statement and from it he could not decide what she thought, though he thought that maybe the mare would just leave his presence if she believed that it was a horrible thing for him to have a Pegasus in his care. The ebony mare stated that it must have been an interesting battle, and the stallion nodded his head as she said this, because it was quite true it was a very interesting time in his life as he captured Aquillion as his own.

Then the mare began to speak about how many mares acted that way when they were pregnant, whinny and moody and just plain annoying,and the stallion nodded his head in a way of agreeing with the mare. But the stallion also knew that the mares could not help themselves with acting this way, it all just came from the fact that their hormones were out of control, though it seemed like they could at least try to help themselves a little bit.
"Yes pregnant mares do seem to all possess those qualities, though I do understand that they can not help but act that way, it is not really their fault." The stallion stated.

[exodusbeloved]

Alexandrie

Alexandrie nodded before deciding that maybe talking about something so touchy with her wasn't a good idea and in her mind she was looking for a way to change the subject. She was afraid that talking about something so strongly in her past would make her speak of it and she didn't want it haunting her here. She was tired of it falling her around like a shadow. It made her every turn more than what it should be. She wanted to forget about it completely, ached for that. She knew it would never be that way, but she could hope, couldn't she? She could not allow it to come anywhere inside her mind and then maybe one day it wouldn't come to her mind and it wouldn't cross it. Then she'd be free. She'd had her longed for freedom and with it she would do whatever she pleased. Maybe even leave a good life. It all just depended on when it came and if it ever truly would. Letting out a breath of air to swirl in front of her. She wasn't sure what to talk about and so she simply nodded, hoping that he'd get the point she didn't want to speak about it anymore. Maybe he would catch on and maybe he wouldn't.

" No, they can't help when their brain gets a little out of whack. It seems to happen to all breeds." She said it without looking at him. She felt herself beginning to weaken. Her wall around her heart rattling a little bit. All these conversation had brought on buried memories. Those memories now seemed to rise in her throat, giving off a vile taste. One that struck her with no surprise and she almost let it break her, but no. Not Alexandrie. She wasn't weak and so just like before she had met this stallion standing near her, she closed herself off and refused emotion. She knitted that wall tightly and then placed a smirk on her face just to keep the emotions of boredom play through her. She had too. It was the only thing keeping her from breaking down like a little foal whose toy had just got taken away from her. A sigh escaped her and she gave a slid long glance at Estacar before turning her gaze forward. " Come, lets walk and talk. My muscles are getting tight from no movement." It was a little white lie she said perfectly and without another word she moved herself forward. She did not look back to see if he would follow, she simply went because she needed movement. She needed to know she was alive and well. Breathing and walking. Her pillars seemed to float over the ground like a ghost even at walking pace. Her black hooves were laid down lightly before getting the weight pressed down on them and then they were lifted once more. It was a process repeated as she continued her walk down the line of trees.

A liar. Its what I was and would forever be. Even white lies come from my mouth instantly, or maybe that one could've been considered an excuse. It didn't matter. Either way, it got us off that topic and hopefully into a new one. I didn't want to talk about babies or children. I hated them and I wanted none. I had decided just within this conversation. As I began walking, I felt my tense muscles begin to relax. They felt the cool ground underneath me and I was reminded everything would be okay. This was just another stage in my life I would get past like all the rest. I would move on, closed up, and do what had to be done even if it meant endangering myself. Danger, the thrill. I seemed to be craving those things more and more recently. I wanted to lash out at some mare just to see what she would do, I wanted to play the game of seduction with a stallion and then see if I could get away like normal. I hated when I got these urges for such things. They weren't me in anyway, but I dealt with them nonetheless. So maybe I would go to this stallion's home if he had one. Of course, I would make the rules clear...But they weren't hard to follow. Just a few simple things that couldn't be done to me, or around me. I felt myself sigh, doing my best to keep my emotions at bay.

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